The Up and the Down.
http://addiction-dirkh.blogspot.com/2012/08/books-by-addicts-collection.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+AddictionInbox+%28Addiction+Inbox%29
Aug 22, 2012
“I’m a drug addict turned neuroscientist.”
"...addictive drugs demonstrate “the fundamental chemistry of learning which really means learning what feels good and how to get more of it. Yet there’s a downside: the slippery slope, the repetition compulsion, that constitutes addiction. In other words, addiction may be a form of learning gone bad."
"If drugs are such feel-good engines, what goes wrong? Something big. “Because when drugs (or booze, sex, or gambling) are nowhere to be found, when the horizon is empty of their promise, the humming motor of the orbitofrontal cortex sputters to a halt. Orbitofrontal cells go dormant and dopamine just stops. Like a religious fundamentalist, the addict’s brain has only two stable states: rapture and disinterest. Addictive drugs convert the brain to recognize only one face of God, to thrill to only one suitor.” The addict’s world narrows. Dopamine becomes “specialized, stilted, inaccessible through the ordinary pleasures and pursuits of life, but gushing suddenly when anything associated with the drug comes into awareness…. I wish this were just an exercise in biological reductionism, or neuro-scientific chauvinism, but it’s not. It’s the way things really work.”
Dr. Marc Lewis
Aug 18, 2012
Top 10 Great Things About Being Addicted
Submitted by gen z on August 17, 2012 - 12:52pm.
"You get to be told everyday on how thin you are."
"People remember you FIRST when things get lost around the house."
Everything written here is so sarcastically true, I'm torn between laughing or crying about it.
Why Addictions Are So Hard To Break
How many times have I cried while taking public transportation? Let me just say that letting your tears fall freely will make it less noticeable to other people. This happens with just the slightest trigger on bad days of living the life.
I used to think I was an expert on repressing my feelings. But no matter how good you are at it, one does not have unlimited storage capacity. Everything just flows out; almost drowning you that there can only be one thing in mind that you know will surely numb you. It works like magic. I really don't wanna start "facing" all those emotions now like what everyone says should be. Yes, I'm sad and lost and facing that is not something I look forward to doing.
I used to think I was an expert on repressing my feelings. But no matter how good you are at it, one does not have unlimited storage capacity. Everything just flows out; almost drowning you that there can only be one thing in mind that you know will surely numb you. It works like magic. I really don't wanna start "facing" all those emotions now like what everyone says should be. Yes, I'm sad and lost and facing that is not something I look forward to doing.
"...some people are particularly distressed by their painful feelings--due to the biology or psychology of their genetics, or what was present or absent in their upbringing, or usually some combination of both. Because upsetting feelings are so difficult to bear they,
Will There Ever Be a Cure for Addiction?
"Reason 2: We Haven’t Got Time for the PainIf we’re wired to seek pleasure, then the opposite is true as well. Avoiding pain is an equally powerful cause of addiction. People often turn to drugs to feel better about what makes them sad, depressed, fearful, or angry. Therefore, as long as there are mental illnesses such as depression, and as long as kids are raised by drug and alcohol addicted parents, people will continue to self-medicate to relieve their pain, follow their role models, or both."
Will There Ever Be a Cure for Addiction?
The complexity of addiction makes a “one size fits all” solution unlikely
by David Sack, M.D.
The Illusion of Control
by Ingrid Mathieu, Ph.D. in Emotional Sobriety
by Ingrid Mathieu, Ph.D. in Emotional Sobriety
"...we try to wrangle for control over uncomfortable feelings is to talk our way out of them with statements such as, “It’s not that big of a deal,” or “I’m being ridiculous, this doesn’t warrant any of my energy.” No matter how hard we try to convince ourselves that we shouldn’t be having a particular response—it doesn’t remove the underlying emotional experience. What it does create is a large gap between what you are telling yourself and what you are actually feeling. The dissonance between the two creates so much tension that we often end up acting in self-destructive ways.""Relating this to emotional sobriety, I believe that the goal is to feel all of our feelings, not to be held hostage by them, transcend or avoid them."
Addicted Links
I will have to find time to check all these links out:
The ScienceDaily Addiction News page reports on research concerning substance use and addiction.
The Berridge Lab site describes the research findings of a particular team — one I greatly respect.
Heroin and Cornflakes and The Fix present research, social issues, news, interviews, and stories related to substance use and addiction.
Addiction and Recovery News, Addiction Blog, and Dryblog give you news, stories, opinions, and links re drugs, booze, and recovery.
Drug Addiction Support, Harm Reduction for Alcohol (HAMS), and Recovery Nation specialize in what’s old, new, available and useful in treatment and recovery (along with their individual biases, of course). These are the places to go for immediate help.
Gabor Mate’s site is about…Gabor Mate. Mostly his books and talks, about addiction and other psychological messes.
Defining Addiction: Disease, Choice, or Self-Medication?
by Marc Lewis, Ph.D.
A Brain's-Eye View of Addiction as a "Disease"
“I see addiction as an accelerated form of learning. I see it as the result of a natural learning process that has gone way too fast and way too far, yielding habits that are extremely difficult to “unlearn”.
A Brain's-Eye View of Addiction as a "Disease"
“…the dopamine system is altered so that only the substance of choice is capable of triggering dopamine release to the nucleus accumbens (ventral striatum), while other potential rewards do so less and less. The nucleus accumbens (NAC) is responsible for goal-directed behavior and for the motivation to pursue goals.”
“ …that dopamine metabolism is seriously altered by addiction, and that’s why it counts as a disease. The brain is part of the body, after all. It explains the helplessness addicts feel: they are in the grip of a disease, and so they can’t get better by themselves. It explains the incredible persistence of addiction, its proneness to relapse; and why “choice” is not the answer (or even the question), because choice is governed by motivation, which is governed by dopamine, and your dopamine system is “diseased.”
Aug 17, 2012
Aug 16, 2012
The Gift of ADHD
ON AUG 12, 2005 AT 03:37AM
These cultural demands overlook the value of being slow and uncomprehending. Often, the constructed explanations offered to students by teachers are oversimplifications. In pretending to know it all, students and teachers gloss over the complexity and mystery of the world. Admitting or experiencing not knowing can be a liberating experience. In fact, the struggle to always have the right answer actually prevents a person from learning. If we think we have the answers, we are not open to a deeper understanding or exploring other ways of seeing the world.
Top Ten Tips for Parenting ADHD Kids
Top Ten Tips for Parenting ADHD Kids
Published on December 8, 2010 by Dr. Lara Honos-Webb in The Gift of ADHD
1. Advocate for your child. This means you need to "spin" your child's behavior to friends, family and teachers. Has your child's antics been any worse than our leading politicians? Probably not. Imagine the spinmeisters on talk shows who try to get their politicians elected. Do the same for your child.
2. Coach your child to name and feel ok with all their emotions. Kids act bad when they are mad, sad or afraid. When you coach your child to tell you what she feels, her bad behavior will heal.
3. Look inside yourself. Sometimes kids act out unexpressed conflicts of their parents. Are you struggling with depression, anxiety, rage? Get help for yourself and your kids will shape up.
4. Think of yourself as a coach. Your job is to coach your child to success in social, emotional and educational settings. Sometimes the answer is practice, practice, practice. Don't get discouraged if you have to repeat yourself over and over again.
5. Ask yourself: "If my child's most frustrating behavior was meant to teach me something - what would it be?" Many parents find themselves half distressed and half impressed at their child's indifference to people pleasing. Sometimes this is just the lesson parents need to learn in their own lives - many parents have become imbalanced in attending too much to seeking approval from others.
6. Forget about the competition. Your child can still strive to be outstanding without it being about comparisons to other children. ADHDchildren are sensitive to tension produced by parents' competitiveness and the fear based motivation inhibits them.
7. Keep Yourself Alive! It takes a lot of energy to keep up with ADHD kids. You need to become your own energy source. Feed your own passions. If you are married work to increase your intimacy with your partner. If you are single, keep your own love life alive.
8. Honor the kernel of self-reliance in all acts of defiance. Every time your child doesn't do what you asked them to do, ask them for an explanation. Honor their independent thinking and consider what part of it you may want to incorporate into your discipline. Continue to insist that your child respect your rules while demonstrating respect for their own rhythm and logic.
9. Practice preventative medicine. Many times children's bad behavior is a misguided attempt to get some precious attention. Fuel your child up with the highest octane energy you can early in the day. Spend a few minutes being entirely present with your child. Look them in the eyes, touch them lovingly and listen closely to your child. This intense presence will give them what they need and head off desperate pleas for attention. Sometimes just a few minutes will prevent large energy draining hassles.
10. Connect with your child's teacher. Research has shown over many decades that your child's educational outcomes are very closely linked with how much the teacher expects from your child. This is why you need to advocate for your child at the same time as you connect with your child's teacher. Show enormous respect for your child's teachers and try to forge a close alliance with him or her. They will go the extra mile for your child.
Published on December 8, 2010 by Dr. Lara Honos-Webb in The Gift of ADHD
1. Advocate for your child. This means you need to "spin" your child's behavior to friends, family and teachers. Has your child's antics been any worse than our leading politicians? Probably not. Imagine the spinmeisters on talk shows who try to get their politicians elected. Do the same for your child.
2. Coach your child to name and feel ok with all their emotions. Kids act bad when they are mad, sad or afraid. When you coach your child to tell you what she feels, her bad behavior will heal.
3. Look inside yourself. Sometimes kids act out unexpressed conflicts of their parents. Are you struggling with depression, anxiety, rage? Get help for yourself and your kids will shape up.
4. Think of yourself as a coach. Your job is to coach your child to success in social, emotional and educational settings. Sometimes the answer is practice, practice, practice. Don't get discouraged if you have to repeat yourself over and over again.
5. Ask yourself: "If my child's most frustrating behavior was meant to teach me something - what would it be?" Many parents find themselves half distressed and half impressed at their child's indifference to people pleasing. Sometimes this is just the lesson parents need to learn in their own lives - many parents have become imbalanced in attending too much to seeking approval from others.
6. Forget about the competition. Your child can still strive to be outstanding without it being about comparisons to other children. ADHDchildren are sensitive to tension produced by parents' competitiveness and the fear based motivation inhibits them.
7. Keep Yourself Alive! It takes a lot of energy to keep up with ADHD kids. You need to become your own energy source. Feed your own passions. If you are married work to increase your intimacy with your partner. If you are single, keep your own love life alive.
8. Honor the kernel of self-reliance in all acts of defiance. Every time your child doesn't do what you asked them to do, ask them for an explanation. Honor their independent thinking and consider what part of it you may want to incorporate into your discipline. Continue to insist that your child respect your rules while demonstrating respect for their own rhythm and logic.
9. Practice preventative medicine. Many times children's bad behavior is a misguided attempt to get some precious attention. Fuel your child up with the highest octane energy you can early in the day. Spend a few minutes being entirely present with your child. Look them in the eyes, touch them lovingly and listen closely to your child. This intense presence will give them what they need and head off desperate pleas for attention. Sometimes just a few minutes will prevent large energy draining hassles.
10. Connect with your child's teacher. Research has shown over many decades that your child's educational outcomes are very closely linked with how much the teacher expects from your child. This is why you need to advocate for your child at the same time as you connect with your child's teacher. Show enormous respect for your child's teachers and try to forge a close alliance with him or her. They will go the extra mile for your child.
Craft Adhesives 101
I'm gonna start posting all these ideas I gATher on the net...let's see if in the end they would some how form into something...I love recycling stuff and make use of them in crafting.
Adhesives may be the most important crafting tool/supply you need. Cutting tools actually might come in a smidge behind adhesives in importance. Simply because you can glue things together without every cutting anything and make a masterpiece. Okay, this list is my idea of the basic types of adhesives. I know everyone won't agree so feel free to chime in!
Aug 15, 2012
ADHD & Parenting: An Interview with Dr. Mark Bertin, MD
In Chapter 9, "Medical Options for ADHD", you write "it is inherently unfair to expect someone with a neurologically-based disorder to overcome it through effort and willpower alone" (p. 178). Could you explain in what ways medication can help children with ADHD?
People suggest all sorts of causes, but in the end the research is clear, ADHD is a medical condition. The parts of the brain responsible for self-regulation as a whole aren’t active enough; it’s not only about inattention or impulsiveness. When used well, medications stimulate this underactive region to work more efficiently. The research regarding potential benefits is clear. They have a far greater impact on ADHD symptoms than anything else studied so far. Medications don’t fix everything on their own, but they allow someone to regulate their behavior who otherwise can’t.
You’ve said that ADHD is not about inattention, or impulsiveness, or hyperactivity, even though that’s how most people think about it. Could you explain more about that?
The symptoms that give ADHD its name are part of a much larger group of skills called ‘executive function.’ Executive function is like the brain manager, coordinating planning and organizing thoughts, as well as monitoring behavior and how we express our emotions. Practically speaking, children with ADHD have a developmental delay in some or all of these abilities. It’s not that they don’t want to do what’s being asked of them, it’s that they can’t until they’ve been taught how.
Aug 10, 2012
Zodiacs Signs Described
SUN SIGNS - SIGNS OF THE ZODIAC
AQUARIUS - I KNOW
Jan. 21st - Feb. 18th
If you have something interesting to say, you'll get the attention of an Aquarius, but keeping their attention is another story! Think of an Aquarian as the Einstein of the zodiac, open to discovering areas that have not yet been developed. Anything new and unusual seems to capture the attention of those born under this sign. Some Aquarian characteristics would be aloofness, selflessness, analytical, contrary, cranky, detached, distant, eccentric, fanatical, fearless, friendly, humanitarian, idealistic, independent, individualistic, intellectual, inventive, lofty, loyal, oblivious, odd, original, outrageous, progressive, quick, quirky, perverse, rebellious, sociable, stubborn, tactless, tireless, trustworthy, unconventional, unemotional, unpredictable and innovative.
Uranus is the ruler of Aquarius.
Aquarius rules the 11th house in the natural zodiac.
Aquarius ruled body parts are the circulatory system, ankles, Achilles heal, calves and shins.
LOVE COMPATIBILITY OF AQUARIUS WITH:
Aries, the Ram is bold, and Aquarius is audacious, together they can create an ideal relationship. It's a match that thrives on fun and adventure with a dose of tact and understanding. Aries, a Fire Sign, is ruled by dynamic Mars, while Aquarius, an Air Sign, is governed by an unique combination of the structured and responsible Saturn and the outrageous Uranus. Aries is creative and is always full of new ideas. While the Aquarius is adventurous, unorthodox and determined. They will find fabulously original ways to execute their well-thought-out plans . There is little difference between the two, for Aries loves the glory and adores a challenge, while Aquarius is more methodical and reasonable of the procedures. Intellectually they are well suited, for both have a wide range of interests and love to talk about them. . Aquarians are more detached and intellectual about problems than Aries, who becomes more personally involved. Aries will find the Aquarian unpredictability exciting, but never feels entirely secure. Neither of them likes to be dominated, but An Aries should be usually allowed to take the lead for the sake of peace, depending on the Aquarian temperament. Sometimes the Ram can be rather too possessive and demanding. The ego problems has to be ironed out to achieve a perfect balance in the relationship. The relation is well matched in their enthusiasm, energy, ambition, wide range of interests and drive, sexual fun and mutual love of achievement The best part in an Aries-Aquarian relationship is that, no one tries to tie each other down, for they understand the other's need for freedom, adventure, and outside interests.
a use for tissue and paper towel rolls
I have always had a hard time throwing things...even when I never got to do anything with them. Imagine the collection I have of paper, boxes, cans...I most especially love containers. I have containers contained in containers. And next to that I love organizing / storage....or maybe the thought of organizing? Coz' until now, I have yet to organize my....stuff...and life...hahaha. Anyway, here is my 1st attempt with repurposing tissue rolls.
I now use this as storage for my used "Ziplocks".
This one I made for my son to be used for his placemat that he takes to school. I just had to make sure that it was something he would not forget to bring home.
And it worked!!!
LOVE COMPATIBILITY OF CANCER:
Aries often feels smothered by demands of family and even friends. Cancer, on the other hand, is very devoted to family needs and the inner, emotional needs of others. Aries may, without realizing it, selfishly accept that Cancer's nurturing and giving, while contributing relatively little to the relationship on an emotional level. Aries 's need for autonomy and independence often conflicts with needs for closeness, intimacy, and mutual dependency. Aries seems selfish, impersonal, and indifferent to Cancer at times, and Cancer may feel too needy and emotionally sensitive compared to Aries. Aries can learn compassion from Cancer, and Cancer can learn to be more independent, but it's likely to be a rough road at times with much adjustment needed on both sides.This is not a perfect match. Top
Cancer & TaurusBoth Cancer and Taurus are very domestic and appreciate the simple joys of life. Others find the two to be very warm, friendly, and caring, and their soft and considerate attitude is greatly appreciated by friends. The two would enjoy living in a quiet, fairly secluded place away from hustle and bustle. Cancer is very emotional, very attached to family and familiar surroundings and easily upset by any form of cruelty Taurus's practical, grounded approach to life and gentle manner is very much appreciated by Cancer. Its a perfect match.
Cancer & GeminiCancer is usually the one who takes care of family affairs and, in general, is more attentive to people's feelings and emotional needs. Cancer is also more attached to the past, fond memories, places, and friends than Gemini . Sometimes Gemini is indifferent to the concerns of Cancer, and often simply cannot become as emotionally involved about an issue or situation as Cancer . Even if Gemini is a caring, sensitive person, Cancers still find concerns are expressed differently and are directed less personally than those of Cancer. Gemini often wants to approach problems intellectually by discussing them whereas Cancer seeks a change in attitude and feels that talking often evades the underlying problems. Many of the misunderstandings between them arise because Gemini is more emotionally detached and rational, while Cancer is more subjective, emotionally involved, and unable to be as articulate and reasonable as Gemini is. Paradoxically, both are attracted to one another for the same reason. Gemini 's mental agility and wit appeals to Cancer ,and Cancer's sensitivity and depth of feeling is attractive to Gemini, and both have much to learn from one another. Its not a perfect match.
Cancer & CancerBoth are very sensitive, sympathetic and emotional, with moods that shift and change like the tides. Though they may hide behind a shell of equanimity or indifference, they are really very easily hurt and take almost everything personally and have deep feelings for, and sentimental attachments to, the past, their home and family, or anything or anyone they once had a close affiliation with school, home town, friends, etc. If the backgrounds are very different, this may be more of a problem for both than it would be to other people, because their identification with their origins is so strong. There is a strong need to be needed, and desire a very close, secure, loving and protective relationship. Family or domesticity is extremely important to them. Because of their empathy for one another, and similar temperaments, its a perfect blend and a perfect match. T
Cancer & LeoBoth you take life very personally, probably more personally than you realize. A Cancer's feelings and pride are easily wounded by Leo's pride There can be an unusually warm loving bond between a Leo and A Cancer. Though their temperamentsare quite different. Leo is very proud and wants recognition, appreciation, respect, and love from a partner. Cancer wants to be needed and desires sympathy, tenderness, and emotional support from a partner. Leo has difficulty accepting and expressing needs,sadness, or weakness, and is uncomfortable when Cancer expresses doubts, insecurities, weaknesses, or moodiness. Leo is the more dominant of the two and is likely to take the lead in therelationship, which is fine with Cancer, who has no need to be on top. Its however, not a match made in heaven.
Top
Cancer & VirgoBoth of you are inclined to mood changes that, at times, can irritate each other. For example, Cancer experiences periods of melancholy, tenderness, concern, worry, nostalgia and sentimentality, which Virgo may not understand or sympathize with. Virgo can suddenly become irritated and irascible over minor annoyances, and at such times, is capable of intense sarcasm and criticism, which can be extremely disconcerting to Cancer's tender, sensitive feelings. Virgo must be prudent, and Cancer must strive to be forgiving when things go a little awry. However, you are both capable of enormous devotion to one another and to your children if you have them, and taking care of one another comes naturally to you.
Cancer & LibraThere are some similarities between you, and also some significant differences in your temperaments and needs. Both of you are thoughtful, considerate, sensitive to, and aware of, other people's needs. Having good personal relationships is very important to both of you, and you make harmony and peace in your personal lives a very high priority. You both avoid conflict and confrontation if at all possible. The differences are thus Libra is more objective, rational, and fair compared to Cancer, who is subjective, emotional, and biased by personal sympathies and loyalties. Though seeminglysympathetic, Libra can be surprisingly cool and intellectual when problems arise between the two of you. Cancer responds very personally and emotionally. Libra needs more communication and conversation than Cancer seems to. Also, Libra wants to relate as an equal and a peer, while Cancer wants to mother or be mothered by a partner. So Cancer is more comfortable with becoming emotionally or financially dependent on a partner or having the partner dependent in that way, while Libra wants a more egalitarian relationship. These differences can cause misunderstandings between you, but rarely are they a source of major conflict. T
Cancer & ScorpioBoth of you have strong, deep feelings and you bond very intensely. Consequently you become very attached to each other and cling tightly to each other. However, your emotional natures are different in many ways too. Cancer often feels more compassion and sympathy for someone, while Scorpio may view Cancer's feelings as sentimentality. When wounded, Scorpio becomes resentful and vindictive. Cancer, on the other hand, cries or sulks, and usually lets the other person know verbally or nonverbally about it. Scorpio, by contrast, hides it. You may also have different attitudes towards sexuality versus love. For example, Cancer may feel that Scorpio is sometimes more driven by instinct and lust than by love, and this may become an issue in your relationship. Overall, though, the intense bonding and emotionality of your relationship fosters a deep, lasting attachment between you.
Cancer & SagittariusYour natures are so different that you are bound to clash at times. Very often when Sagittarius feels the urge to travel, explore, expand, and follow a new star, Cancer feels just the opposite theurge to be close to family, to establish roots, to have children and provide for them, to be near close friends. Sagittarius's desire for freedom and exploration is often at cross purposes with Cancer 's need for security. Sagittarius tends to also be philosophical and detached about personal matters while Cancer takes a much more personal, subjective, compassionate, and emotional approach to life. Although in theory your differences can complement each other, and sometimes they do, there are times when you will have to be very creative and imaginative to find ways to meet everyone's needs.
Cancer & CapricornIn many ways the two of you are opposites. Cancer needs a lot of domestic and family activities. Nurturing others and personal involvement with others is a necessary part of life for Cancer. Family and close friends are extremely important for Cancer, while Capricorn often becomes emotionally detached from personal affairs and may fail to fully appreciate Cancer 's more personal, emotional responses to situations. Capricorn may seem dry and emotionally inexpressive to Cancer. Your differences can serve to complement each other only if you really understand and appreciate each other. Both of you do seek security, consistency, and fidelity in relationships, so there is a reasonably good chance that over time you will develop a greater appreciation for each other's opposite qualities.
Cancer & AquariusCancer is more attached to family, more nostalgic, and more domestic than Aquarius. Aquarius is very friendly but not as emotionally involved with family and has much broader tastes and interests. Cancer, forexample, becomes very emotionally attached to familiar surroundings and is inclined to live in one place for a long time. Aquarius, on the other hand, is more willing to follow whatever direction that career changes and other demands necessitate. Aquarius quickly makes new friends and does not need as high a degree of intimacy as Cancer and therefore finds the transition to new surroundings much easier. Cancer is also more concerned with having financial and material security and is more inclined to worry if circumstances are not stable and secure. Cancer needs to be needed and wants a level of emotional bonding and nurturing that Aquarius may be incapable of. Top
Cancer & PiscesThere is a tremendous flow of feeling, sympathy, and emotional rapport between you, and you feel that your partner understands and empathizes with you in a way few others do. Both of you are sensitive, intuitive, receptive, and compassionate people, easily moved by emotional appeals or needs of others. A deep mutual appreciation of music and the arts is also likely.The differences between you arethat Pisces' sympathies are more broad and universal than Cancer's, who is more concerned with family or others who are personally dear to Cancer. Our Family or Our Circle matters more to Cancer than to Pisces , who treats friends and strangers more equally. Pisces can be a little lax when it comes to remembering significant personal dates, like anniversaries or birthdays, whereas Cancer never is. Fortunately this difference is rather minor and unlikely to be much of problem between you. Top
Read more at http://www.theholidayspot.com/valentine/zodiacs/love_compatibility/cancer.htm#UHIkZygbgZXI54eK.99
Aries often feels smothered by demands of family and even friends. Cancer, on the other hand, is very devoted to family needs and the inner, emotional needs of others. Aries may, without realizing it, selfishly accept that Cancer's nurturing and giving, while contributing relatively little to the relationship on an emotional level. Aries 's need for autonomy and independence often conflicts with needs for closeness, intimacy, and mutual dependency. Aries seems selfish, impersonal, and indifferent to Cancer at times, and Cancer may feel too needy and emotionally sensitive compared to Aries. Aries can learn compassion from Cancer, and Cancer can learn to be more independent, but it's likely to be a rough road at times with much adjustment needed on both sides.This is not a perfect match. Top
Cancer & TaurusBoth Cancer and Taurus are very domestic and appreciate the simple joys of life. Others find the two to be very warm, friendly, and caring, and their soft and considerate attitude is greatly appreciated by friends. The two would enjoy living in a quiet, fairly secluded place away from hustle and bustle. Cancer is very emotional, very attached to family and familiar surroundings and easily upset by any form of cruelty Taurus's practical, grounded approach to life and gentle manner is very much appreciated by Cancer. Its a perfect match.
Cancer & GeminiCancer is usually the one who takes care of family affairs and, in general, is more attentive to people's feelings and emotional needs. Cancer is also more attached to the past, fond memories, places, and friends than Gemini . Sometimes Gemini is indifferent to the concerns of Cancer, and often simply cannot become as emotionally involved about an issue or situation as Cancer . Even if Gemini is a caring, sensitive person, Cancers still find concerns are expressed differently and are directed less personally than those of Cancer. Gemini often wants to approach problems intellectually by discussing them whereas Cancer seeks a change in attitude and feels that talking often evades the underlying problems. Many of the misunderstandings between them arise because Gemini is more emotionally detached and rational, while Cancer is more subjective, emotionally involved, and unable to be as articulate and reasonable as Gemini is. Paradoxically, both are attracted to one another for the same reason. Gemini 's mental agility and wit appeals to Cancer ,and Cancer's sensitivity and depth of feeling is attractive to Gemini, and both have much to learn from one another. Its not a perfect match.
Cancer & CancerBoth are very sensitive, sympathetic and emotional, with moods that shift and change like the tides. Though they may hide behind a shell of equanimity or indifference, they are really very easily hurt and take almost everything personally and have deep feelings for, and sentimental attachments to, the past, their home and family, or anything or anyone they once had a close affiliation with school, home town, friends, etc. If the backgrounds are very different, this may be more of a problem for both than it would be to other people, because their identification with their origins is so strong. There is a strong need to be needed, and desire a very close, secure, loving and protective relationship. Family or domesticity is extremely important to them. Because of their empathy for one another, and similar temperaments, its a perfect blend and a perfect match. T
Cancer & LeoBoth you take life very personally, probably more personally than you realize. A Cancer's feelings and pride are easily wounded by Leo's pride There can be an unusually warm loving bond between a Leo and A Cancer. Though their temperamentsare quite different. Leo is very proud and wants recognition, appreciation, respect, and love from a partner. Cancer wants to be needed and desires sympathy, tenderness, and emotional support from a partner. Leo has difficulty accepting and expressing needs,sadness, or weakness, and is uncomfortable when Cancer expresses doubts, insecurities, weaknesses, or moodiness. Leo is the more dominant of the two and is likely to take the lead in therelationship, which is fine with Cancer, who has no need to be on top. Its however, not a match made in heaven.
Top
Cancer & VirgoBoth of you are inclined to mood changes that, at times, can irritate each other. For example, Cancer experiences periods of melancholy, tenderness, concern, worry, nostalgia and sentimentality, which Virgo may not understand or sympathize with. Virgo can suddenly become irritated and irascible over minor annoyances, and at such times, is capable of intense sarcasm and criticism, which can be extremely disconcerting to Cancer's tender, sensitive feelings. Virgo must be prudent, and Cancer must strive to be forgiving when things go a little awry. However, you are both capable of enormous devotion to one another and to your children if you have them, and taking care of one another comes naturally to you.
Cancer & LibraThere are some similarities between you, and also some significant differences in your temperaments and needs. Both of you are thoughtful, considerate, sensitive to, and aware of, other people's needs. Having good personal relationships is very important to both of you, and you make harmony and peace in your personal lives a very high priority. You both avoid conflict and confrontation if at all possible. The differences are thus Libra is more objective, rational, and fair compared to Cancer, who is subjective, emotional, and biased by personal sympathies and loyalties. Though seeminglysympathetic, Libra can be surprisingly cool and intellectual when problems arise between the two of you. Cancer responds very personally and emotionally. Libra needs more communication and conversation than Cancer seems to. Also, Libra wants to relate as an equal and a peer, while Cancer wants to mother or be mothered by a partner. So Cancer is more comfortable with becoming emotionally or financially dependent on a partner or having the partner dependent in that way, while Libra wants a more egalitarian relationship. These differences can cause misunderstandings between you, but rarely are they a source of major conflict. T
Cancer & ScorpioBoth of you have strong, deep feelings and you bond very intensely. Consequently you become very attached to each other and cling tightly to each other. However, your emotional natures are different in many ways too. Cancer often feels more compassion and sympathy for someone, while Scorpio may view Cancer's feelings as sentimentality. When wounded, Scorpio becomes resentful and vindictive. Cancer, on the other hand, cries or sulks, and usually lets the other person know verbally or nonverbally about it. Scorpio, by contrast, hides it. You may also have different attitudes towards sexuality versus love. For example, Cancer may feel that Scorpio is sometimes more driven by instinct and lust than by love, and this may become an issue in your relationship. Overall, though, the intense bonding and emotionality of your relationship fosters a deep, lasting attachment between you.
Cancer & SagittariusYour natures are so different that you are bound to clash at times. Very often when Sagittarius feels the urge to travel, explore, expand, and follow a new star, Cancer feels just the opposite theurge to be close to family, to establish roots, to have children and provide for them, to be near close friends. Sagittarius's desire for freedom and exploration is often at cross purposes with Cancer 's need for security. Sagittarius tends to also be philosophical and detached about personal matters while Cancer takes a much more personal, subjective, compassionate, and emotional approach to life. Although in theory your differences can complement each other, and sometimes they do, there are times when you will have to be very creative and imaginative to find ways to meet everyone's needs.
Cancer & CapricornIn many ways the two of you are opposites. Cancer needs a lot of domestic and family activities. Nurturing others and personal involvement with others is a necessary part of life for Cancer. Family and close friends are extremely important for Cancer, while Capricorn often becomes emotionally detached from personal affairs and may fail to fully appreciate Cancer 's more personal, emotional responses to situations. Capricorn may seem dry and emotionally inexpressive to Cancer. Your differences can serve to complement each other only if you really understand and appreciate each other. Both of you do seek security, consistency, and fidelity in relationships, so there is a reasonably good chance that over time you will develop a greater appreciation for each other's opposite qualities.
Cancer & AquariusCancer is more attached to family, more nostalgic, and more domestic than Aquarius. Aquarius is very friendly but not as emotionally involved with family and has much broader tastes and interests. Cancer, forexample, becomes very emotionally attached to familiar surroundings and is inclined to live in one place for a long time. Aquarius, on the other hand, is more willing to follow whatever direction that career changes and other demands necessitate. Aquarius quickly makes new friends and does not need as high a degree of intimacy as Cancer and therefore finds the transition to new surroundings much easier. Cancer is also more concerned with having financial and material security and is more inclined to worry if circumstances are not stable and secure. Cancer needs to be needed and wants a level of emotional bonding and nurturing that Aquarius may be incapable of. Top
Cancer & PiscesThere is a tremendous flow of feeling, sympathy, and emotional rapport between you, and you feel that your partner understands and empathizes with you in a way few others do. Both of you are sensitive, intuitive, receptive, and compassionate people, easily moved by emotional appeals or needs of others. A deep mutual appreciation of music and the arts is also likely.The differences between you arethat Pisces' sympathies are more broad and universal than Cancer's, who is more concerned with family or others who are personally dear to Cancer. Our Family or Our Circle matters more to Cancer than to Pisces , who treats friends and strangers more equally. Pisces can be a little lax when it comes to remembering significant personal dates, like anniversaries or birthdays, whereas Cancer never is. Fortunately this difference is rather minor and unlikely to be much of problem between you. Top
Read more at http://www.theholidayspot.com/valentine/zodiacs/love_compatibility/cancer.htm#UHIkZygbgZXI54eK.99
Aug 5, 2012
Which could be a lesser evil for me?
It makes me feel shame to admit such a weakness but yes...the only thing that can get me off this Life is a Guy.
Imagine that: Which could be the lesser evil for me??? Knowing full well that guys are my downfall but legal.
This cannot just be any guy...he has to be quite something. Years ago, I would have stood on a different ground...wouldn't even think of giving up the Life for a Guy.
Guys can always leave us but the Life never would.
I still think this is so...and I don't think such a "quite something" guy can happen. He does exist in my heart though :->p he's just 1 hell of a rollercoaster ride for me.
Even if a guy does happen, I'd be crazy again to think that could be forever...and then what??? hahaha back to the Life again? But of course if it were :->p, i'd jump at a chance...of any kind...give up the Life just like that. I know I can coz' he gives me that kind of high.
Let me share excerpts from a reading that got me into writing this post:
"That is, there are striking similarities between the brain state of a person falling in love and that of a person who has just smoked crack cocaine."(Cocaine or Falling in Love) "...leads to ‘enhanced mood, heightened sexual interest, a feeling of increased self-confidence, greater conversational prowess and intensified consciousness…It offers the most wonderful state of consciousness, and the most intense sense of being alive that the user will ever enjoy.’ Yes, I'd say that fits, wouldn't you?"
" Would it be intelligent to take a leap into marriage in this frame of mind?"
As far back as I can remember, when people would say I was to young to know my future. I never wanted to get married. I knew then as I know now that I'm not cut out for that.
But....the Life is a whole different thing...the life I wanted.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-joint-adventures-well-educated-couples/201208/falling-in-love-is-smoking-crack-cocaine
Aug 4, 2012
Finally...a site for dummies like me
I have finally found a site that can help blog dummies like me....Tips for New Bloggers
http://tips-for-new-bloggers.blogspot.com/
http://tips-for-new-bloggers.blogspot.com/
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