Recovery = Abstinence... Or not

There is nothing more that I want than this.

"I've been saying that we should be moving to a different definition, one that focuses on improvement in quality of life, as the basis for whether someone is in recovery or not. You see as far as I'm concerned it doesn't matter whether a person is using any substances - all I care about is the impact of such use on their well being, their "quality of life.""

                                                                                                                 by Adi Jaffe, Ph.D.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/all-about-addiction/201112/recovery-abstinence-or-not

Which could be a lesser evil for me?

     It makes me feel shame to admit such a weakness but yes...the only thing that can get  me off this Life  is a Guy. 

     Imagine that: Which could be the lesser evil for me??? Knowing full well that guys are my downfall but legal.

     This cannot just be any guy...he has to be quite something. Years ago, I would have stood on a different ground...wouldn't even think of giving up the Life for a Guy.

  Guys can always leave us but the Life never would. 

     I still think this is so...and I don't think such a "quite something" guy can happen. He does exist in my heart though :->p  he's just 1 hell of a rollercoaster ride for me. 

     Even if a guy does happen, I'd be crazy again to think that could be forever...and then what??? hahaha back to the Life again? But of course if it were :->p, i'd jump at a chance...of any kind...give up the Life just like that. I know I can coz' he gives me that kind of high.

Let me share excerpts from a reading that got me into writing this post:

   "That is, there are striking similarities between the brain state of a person falling in love and that of a person who has just smoked crack cocaine."

(Cocaine or Falling in Love) "...leads to ‘enhanced mood, heightened sexual interest, a feeling of increased self-confidence, greater conversational prowess and intensified consciousness…It offers the most wonderful state of consciousness, and the most intense sense of being alive that the user will ever enjoy.’ Yes, I'd say that fits, wouldn't you?"

" Would it be intelligent to take a leap into marriage in this frame of mind?"

As far back as I can remember, when people would say I was to young to know my future. I never wanted to get married. I knew then as I know now that I'm not cut out for that.
But....the Life is a whole different thing...the life I wanted.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-joint-adventures-well-educated-couples/201208/falling-in-love-is-smoking-crack-cocaine

Excerpts to Understanding: The right and wrong way to measure progress with an addiction.

"...addictive actions are the result of an emotional process – an attempted solution to feeling helplessly overwhelmed. Addictive behavior is therefore a symptom – a very destructive one, but a symptom nonetheless...